Easter

Beads don't know if they are old or new

These are the beginnings of the beads, which have lived already as bottles of fanta or malta or some other scrumptious treat for the hot days. They make their way to this place, where they will be crushed and they will not fight to stay together. They will allow themselves to be melted together and they will forge and cool as if they had been together all along.  A very cool and interesting process.  Many antique beads are blended together and melted to form new, glossy beads and unless you have an eye like Msgr. Paul's Aunty, you might never know the old from the new.  There is a profound respect for the blending of old and new in this country.  Birth commands respect and consideration and death is treated as a sacred part of the cycle. There are people here who appear to be 30 who inform me that they are closer to 50. There are partly built roads here made up of red dust, coupled with grey, crushed rocks. There are many homes that have been built up to a certain point and when these structures and roads  will be completed is anybody's guess.   

I was pining for my first home in Ghana today, for my brothers and sisters there who took such good care of my feelings while learning the birth customs here. They could take me from tears to laughter just with a funny look or by asking me about my kids. I was never left feeling un-heard and most of my thoughts and feelings were validated. To have this type of support was a blessing for a first time traveller, let alone a student in my shoes.  It was among this family that I went from doubting I would get any of the needed experience; to having one significant skill left to learn and practice.  Now and for the rest of my life it is my prayer that my hands will continue to match my head and that my heart will never fail to engage in each and every birth. I hope I can trick my body into thinking it is newer than the rest of me for I dearly love helping Mama's and their babies get borned...

Sisters in Birth

A few strong women...

...can change everything

Half finished yet totally complete

Red dust puffs up,

blending with black smoke,

 cleaned by short, purpose driven rains

waiting to settle, 

to be finished

Napping under a tree,

heavy with unripened mangos,

waiting to be finished,

to be picked

Babies born of Mama's,

trying to be strong, wishing not to fear,

school will have to wait,

waiting to be finished,

to settle and be free

Promise 

never to forget to remember,

may you find your feet,

fill yourself with ripened mangos,

may you someday be finished

and complete

D.O.

Copyright HotFlash Press, 2011 

Re-Fueling Station

I'd like to Thank my little friend Neve :) for the gift of Shelly & Laurent. I guess the spirit of birth can produce friends you never expected to find.  Out of the goodness of her heart, Shelly made the 3 hour trek to the Mission House, picked us up, dusted us off, put us and our stuff in the car and brought us to her family home.  Karen went straight for the bath and I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. Then they fed us and gave us a soft place to land for a couple of nights before our next commitment begins.

As we were preparing to leave our first placement, we would look from Nkawkaw at the road back to Accra, thoughts of the squishy trotro, heavy bags on laps, sweat dripping down our backs and the hours of questionable roads and unavoidable sensory stimuli; made us both quite squeamish.  I would have done it because I now believe we can endure much more than we think.  And, it could be worse, I could be walking along the same road with one shoe missing and no one to worry about me.

During our time in Nkawkaw, we were hosted by St. Michael's Catholic Church in their Mission House.  Connected to this is a chapel, a large church that often see's 700 people on a Sunday Mass, 2 schools, the hospital, nursing school and residence and finally a Convent.  I am going to post a few photo's of our brothers there.  We certainly did bond and as we received a blessing for safety and further success on our journey; I felt this incredible sense of peace. This peace has stayed with me for the most part but having a soft place to land for a few days has helped considerably.

I must admit, as I catch up, send in school work and try to connect with home, I am indeed grateful to the baby who made this connection happen. Neve, I hope Mrs. Potato Head is fine and that you are having lots of Princessy days!  I love you

Promise & Cross my Heart

A note to Promise & his Mama

I can't imagine catching your baby and never seeing you again

Thanks for the visit before I left

I'm never going to forget you two

Love,  

OBruny Midwife

Understanding Standing Under

So, here we are on week 3. In the last 24 hours I have gone the gamut. A shoulders catch, an NRP and a loss that really took me by surprise. I was certain my prayers had taken and that this guy would stay with his Mama.  However, so often loss is out of our hands.  Under normal circumstances, a death would keep me down for a long time. As would a birth keep me high for days.  Every moment I've had as a Doula has been profound. I hope that as a midwife, I will always be able to keep that wonder alive and that I will continue to feel the effects of every little life I receive into the world.  So precious :)

The experience of being here has stirred me up, brought me to my knees and picked me up again... all in a days work.  Knowing that the ways and customs are not something I can influence has been the most challenging lesson so far.  I think I've gone from standing under this process to understanding it.  The people, the food, the Twi, the 5 minute rains, the 40 degree heat.  And at the end of the day, I'm bagged. Bagged, but happy. I wonder if anything I think outside of the delivery room makes sense to anyone other than me.  I guess that's what blogging is for yes?

I miss my family and my friends today.  Trying to do some schoolwork as a way to keep my mind occupied on things I can manage.  I can't take my mind off of where I've landed. Not even for a minute.

This photo is taken at Boti Falls, where we went on a long journey yesterday.  The trees are ancient and we were truly in the Jungle for the day :) The day began with a loss but ended with so many tender moments.  The tree next to the bench reminds me of the love that produces life and how much we humans need our connections.  

The second photo was a highlight for us.  We were invited to a local Maternity Home called Nya Akoma, which means "Be Patient... Have Heart"  The woman who runs it "Aunty" Elsie is a sweet woman who has this calm, gentle approach to birth.  If it were busier, we could have been there for more time.  However, the experiences we are having at Holy Family has provided both of us with so many skills and for me has affirmed that I am doing what I am meant to do.  Turns out, the more hands on I get here, the more the fear dissipates.  Feels like blessings abound!

We leave for Accra in two days and while I am excited for the next placement, I am anxious about the size of the place and the population.  The smaller, village settings are overwhelming but at least manageable, once you find your way. Wish us luck as we navigate the next few days k?

Peace,

Diane

p.s. You know when we were moving to Saskatchewan, people joked that you could watch your dog run away for days.  Here in Ghana, you can watch your goat run away for days while the chickens literally cross the road.  And that very chicken might end up on your plate.

Week 3 ahead

I guess I didn't really believe everything I had been told about what it is like to give birth in Africa. I keep telling myself that for every difficult birth, there must be dozens of easy ones.  However, there is really nothing easy for anyone here.  It would be condescending to say that many people are so poor, yet so happy.  The people here are the REAL salt of the earth. The women work extremely hard and are unsure what to do when offered help with anything. But, when the offer is authentic, most will take my hand and allow me to provide small comforts.  I've been offered a chicken and some cabbage and have made some friends who will help me create something that will be sustainable, long after I come home.  Start saving your receiving blankets for me please... along with facecloths and baby towels.  We have ways to get them back here.  Project Softy's needs to begin now.  The other bad shortage is blood pressure cuffs, stethoscopes and amnihooks (for the odd need).  I still don't want to say alot about what I'm seeing.  For some reason, I can't use my blog to process this stuff.  Save to say that I will be in need of some serious recovery.  At the same time, the thought of leaving and coming back to my cushy life seems almost too much to bare.  My first catch, a boy has the name of Promise, whom I promise never to forget!

Love all around,

Diane