Understanding Standing Under

So, here we are on week 3. In the last 24 hours I have gone the gamut. A shoulders catch, an NRP and a loss that really took me by surprise. I was certain my prayers had taken and that this guy would stay with his Mama.  However, so often loss is out of our hands.  Under normal circumstances, a death would keep me down for a long time. As would a birth keep me high for days.  Every moment I've had as a Doula has been profound. I hope that as a midwife, I will always be able to keep that wonder alive and that I will continue to feel the effects of every little life I receive into the world.  So precious :)

The experience of being here has stirred me up, brought me to my knees and picked me up again... all in a days work.  Knowing that the ways and customs are not something I can influence has been the most challenging lesson so far.  I think I've gone from standing under this process to understanding it.  The people, the food, the Twi, the 5 minute rains, the 40 degree heat.  And at the end of the day, I'm bagged. Bagged, but happy. I wonder if anything I think outside of the delivery room makes sense to anyone other than me.  I guess that's what blogging is for yes?

I miss my family and my friends today.  Trying to do some schoolwork as a way to keep my mind occupied on things I can manage.  I can't take my mind off of where I've landed. Not even for a minute.

This photo is taken at Boti Falls, where we went on a long journey yesterday.  The trees are ancient and we were truly in the Jungle for the day :) The day began with a loss but ended with so many tender moments.  The tree next to the bench reminds me of the love that produces life and how much we humans need our connections.  

The second photo was a highlight for us.  We were invited to a local Maternity Home called Nya Akoma, which means "Be Patient... Have Heart"  The woman who runs it "Aunty" Elsie is a sweet woman who has this calm, gentle approach to birth.  If it were busier, we could have been there for more time.  However, the experiences we are having at Holy Family has provided both of us with so many skills and for me has affirmed that I am doing what I am meant to do.  Turns out, the more hands on I get here, the more the fear dissipates.  Feels like blessings abound!

We leave for Accra in two days and while I am excited for the next placement, I am anxious about the size of the place and the population.  The smaller, village settings are overwhelming but at least manageable, once you find your way. Wish us luck as we navigate the next few days k?

Peace,

Diane

p.s. You know when we were moving to Saskatchewan, people joked that you could watch your dog run away for days.  Here in Ghana, you can watch your goat run away for days while the chickens literally cross the road.  And that very chicken might end up on your plate.